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How Parents Can Support Executive Functioning Skill Development at Every Age

Mar 21,2025 By Caroline Adelman

Chances are, if you are a parent in 2025, you have heard about the importance of helping your child to develop strong executive functioning skills. This set of cognitive skills has gained widespread attention in both academic circles and the field of psychology, especially over the past two decades, and for good reason. Broadly speaking, executive functioning skills are the mental processes that help us to plan, focus attention, monitor our behaviors, sequence our actions, remember instructions, and juggle multiple tasks successfully. These skills are essential for everything from following routines in early childhood to managing homework and social life in adolescence. These skills include things like working memory (holding and using information in your mind), cognitive flexibility (shifting between tasks or perspectives), and inhibitory control (resisting impulses and staying focused on the task at hand). While these skills may sound technical, they show up in the execution of everyday tasks, such as remembering homework instructions, handling frustration, planning ahead, or staying on task in a busy classroom.

Research has shown that strong executive functioning is linked to better academic performance, improved emotional regulation, stronger social relationships, and even better long-term life outcomes, such as career success and mental well-being. The good news? Executive functioning skills develop gradually from early childhood through young adulthood and can be nurtured and supported through intentional parenting strategies at every stage of a child or teen’s development. This post explores evidence-based strategies for parents to support executive functioning skills at each stage of a child’s development.

Early Childhood (Ages 3-6): Laying the Foundation

During early childhood, children are just beginning to develop basic executive functions including impulse control, working memory, and flexible thinking. These early years are critical. Research shows that early executive functioning skills predict later academic and social success.

Tips for Parents:

  • Create predictable routines. Consistent schedules help young children build working memory and understand sequencing.
  • Play games that practice self-control. Activities like Simon Says, Red Light, Green Light, and Freeze Dance support inhibitory control, the ability to inhibit one’s impulses. 
  • Encourage pretend play. Role play helps children practice cognitive flexibility and self-regulation.

Middle Childhood (Ages 7-12): Strengthening Skills Through Practice

As children enter their elementary years, executive functioning tasks related to organization, planning, and goal-directed behavior become more prominent. This is a great time to practice strategies that support independence and academic success.

Tips for Parents:

  • Use visual supports. Charts, calendars, and checklists help children manage tasks and stay organized. 
  • Break larger tasks into manageable steps. Scaffold tasks like cleaning a room or completing homework into manageable chunks to support planning and working memory.
  • Teach problem-solving. Walk through challenges together, asking “What’s the problem?” “What are your options?” and “What will you try first?”

Early Adolescence (Ages 13-15): Guiding with Autonomy

In early adolescence, executive functioning continues to develop rapidly, especially skills for abstract thinking, emotion regulation, self-monitoring and future planning. This is also a time when kids crave increased independence. Parents can help by offering support and clear expectations, while allowing teens to take the lead on solving developmentally-appropriate challenges (e.g., social challenges, sports losses, academic setbacks, etc.).

Tips for Parents:

  • Coach rather than direct. Instead of telling teens what to do, ask guiding questions such as, “What’s your plan for studying tonight?”
  • Encourage goal-setting. Help teens set short-term and long-term goals, and talk about strategies for reaching their goals.
  • Talk about brain development and the importance of maintaining a growth mindset. Teens are often intrigued to learn that their brains are still growing, and that executive functioning skills improve with practice. Labeling progress that you see your child making in more challenging domains can also encourage teens to self-regulate and stick with challenges in service of achieving longer-term goals.
  • Help manage emotions. Support emotion regulation by validating feelings, discussing healthy coping strategies, and modeling effective emotion regulation strategies in the home.  
  • Help your teen to differentiate between emotions and decisions. As the brain gets a “makeover” during the adolescent years, emotions may become intense and executive functioning skills may be playing catch-up at times. Sometimes, teens in a heightened emotional state may have difficulty differentiating emotions (“I am anxious and stressed right now”) from decisions or facts (“I can’t do this. I quit.”). When we label our teens’ emotions AND express confidence in their ability to cope, it can help them to maintain perspective and persevere in the face of challenging emotions. This may sound something like the following: “I can see you are feeling really discouraged right now. I also see that you’ve made some good progress. I know you can do this, but it sounds like you may need a break first. I get it – we all lose steam sometimes. What do you think might help you to clear your head right now?”

Late Adolescence (Ages 16–18): Preparing for Independence

By late adolescence, executive functions are becoming more refined, but teens still benefit from scaffolding as they prepare for adult responsibilities like managing time, money, and relationships.

Tips for Parents:

  • Promote real-world practice. Let teens manage their own schedules, budgets, or college applications – with adult guidance provided only as needed.
  • Use reflective conversations. After mistakes or challenges, validate their emotions and offer to talk through what happened. Resist the urge to jump in and give advice or feedback. Instead, try to engage in Socratic questioning to help your teen understand their mistakes and determine their own path forward. 
  • Encourage prioritization. Help teens weigh competing demands and make thoughtful decisions, rooted in their own values and goals.
  • Support healthy habits. Sleep, exercise, and nutrition directly impact executive function. Model and reinforce these habits together as a family.

Bottom Line: Patience and Practice Matter Most

Executive functioning skills develop gradually over time, and their development isn’t always linear or synchronized. Children may struggle in one area but excel in another, and growth often happens in spurts. The most powerful thing parents can offer is consistent, warm support, modeling and scaffolding, combined with frequent opportunities for practice and developmentally-appropriate forms of autonomy.

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Interested in parenting support, or in 1:1 therapy to help your child or teen develop strong self-regulation and executive functioning skills? We’d love to help! Contact us.

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